God, why do I doubt?

God, why do I doubt?

by Matt Rodriguez

Why do I doubt what God says? Why do I choose my own ways instead of His? What makes me do things on my own terms rather than conform to the will of the Creator of the universe? Shouldn’t He of all people know what’s best since He made it all?

Like a stubborn mosquito, I thirst after desires, only to come back for more. Like Esau, I want the red stuff. And when I know what I want, I want it quickly! I go after my selfish desires and don’t consider the stinging consequences.

What makes this dilemma worse is knowing His blood eternally satisfies any need I have. It’s by His blood I am saved from sin. It’s by His blood I have a relationship with the Triune God. It’s by His blood I am sealed by the Holy Spirit. It’s by His blood I have meaning and purpose. So why do I fly around like a mosquito and chase after perceived needs that don’t have eternal value?

Here’s my dilemma: My propensity to doubt God’s Word and prefer my own is because of my sin nature. My unquenchable thirst for the red stuff in life is part of my DNA. Having inherited a sin nature from Adam, my flesh craves the apple in the garden. It strives after “the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life” (1 John 2:16b NASB).

Ironically, my selfishness reinforces the reality of God’s presence in my life. That I have unsatisfiable sinful cravings confirms the need for a transcendent Satisfier. Someone who can eternally meet my deepest need: Love.

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life” (John 3:16 NASB).

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  1. Thanks for your post, Rodriguez! How true it is. He really satisfies our ever thirsty soul.